I Guess You Could Say...

For the past couple of weeks, I have been a crazy person.  I guess you could say I have been stressed out.  Last weekend, Christmas with my husband's family, which was wonderful, but the preparation was long.  Stress inducing.  Going to visit his family is, for me, quite a lot like going home.  I am so blessed to have in-laws I love dearly, and who also love me.  My mother in law is one of my best friends.  I know, it sounds impossible, but it is absolutely true; I would hang out with her even if we were not related.  I love her like my own mother, at least 364 days of the year, (come on... I get one day to be iffy on this) and in fact I have much in common with her, that I do not have with my mother.  The point is, I am one lucky person.  Except on the off year, when she does not get "Real Christmas".  Which means, the 25th of December.  Since the beginning of my time in Minnesota, my husband and I have "taken turns" with the mothers, for actual Christmas day.   As I just typed that, I am again reminded of what a ridiculous exercise this has become.  So, on the off year, when my beautiful and wonderful mom in law doesn't get (her words) "real Christmas", it is a dicey, sometimes tense, definitely sad-for-her time.  I've tried to talk with her about it and said,  "Christmas is whenever we are all in the same place, here we are, this awesome family".  Yeah.   Christmas, for her, happens only on the 25th of December, and although she will have a weekend prior to Christmas, when my husband and I come to visit, do all the fun Christmas stuff... it is lacking for her.  It is lacking for everyone, really, because mostly we open presents from everyone, and they open presents from us, but the rest are saved for "real Christmas".  I guess you could say this is a hurdle we've never gotten over.

I think about my own family, and the craziness therein.  As opposed to my husband's relatively small, stoic Norwegian clan, we on my mother's side are a ridiculously loud melting pot of whatever seems cool; I like that we are Lithuanian on my maternal Grandmother's side because it makes sense to me. It is not the only history with which I identify; on my Father's side, there were horse traders and people from the Isle of Man.  I guess you could say I come from a diverse background.  I remember Christmases on both sides of my family and they were fun, and loud, and wonderful, and someone was always, without fail, pissed off.  I guess you could say my parents and grandparents were human beings. 

As I prepare for the trip "home", I think about so many things like this, so many Christmases past.  Always, at this time of year, I miss my grandparents, on both sides.  My Uncle Doug.  There are many things like that, upon which a person could focus.  I guess you could say I've changed my way of thinking.  I'm happy to be heading home for a few days. 

This year, I'm done with panic.  Done with "musts".  When I get home, my mother will be obsessing over cranberry relish and whether or not there are an equal number of gifts for everyone.  There will still be a rift in the family and some will not attend the extended family Christmas.  Everything that makes me nuts about my family will still make me nuts.  There will be a few pissing matches between family members, because that is just how it goes. I plan to hug the little ones tight, give gifts with my whole heart, and give great eye roll to those who just won't play. I guess you could say I am looking forward to going home.

Merry Christmas to you all, and may you have the strength to get through your family holidays.